The darkness pierced
by refrigerator light
In my kitchen I stood there
as it blissfully beckoned
'Come on! Just one bite!'
The sweet piece of cheesecake
Taunting me
I resist, and slam the door
Make my way to
my closet of if only's
Cussing as I stubbed my toe
Acting the fool on one foot
in nighttime and blue language
with a hole in my underwear
In my pain 'Just one slice'
My inner voice weakens my resolve
"No!" I yell through clinched teeth
I have to lose this weight
The closet door squeaks, sliding open
My failures hang lifeless in front of me
I pick my favorite red dress
Three sizes too small
Holding its waist up to mine
The satiny fabric, patronizes me
The cheesecake flashes in my mind
There on the wall, that picture
Me in that red dress...
No double chins..hot as hell
~
© Bobbie Sandlin
~
Writing Exercise: 3 Word Wednesday: Darkness, Patronize, Weaken
Not really all that flowy, but I had fun with this.
Picture: 226/365 days: All the ruby red dresses... DaizyB
~~
To be a poet is a condition, not a profession. — Robert Frost
~~
Everything one invents is true, you may be perfectly sure of that. Poetry is as precise as geometry. — Gustave Flaubert
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
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19 comments:
I thought it flowed well. Good stuff.
The Path
Good one, I also thought it flowed well. Now I want cheesecake...maybe I should go look at my red dress instead :)
I don't have a red dress. I get cheesecake!
Seriously, I like that you took the everyday, something so many people struggle with and created a terrific poem about it.
This is the sort of poetry you could share with those who say they don't like poetry. It is that well done.
Very nice. I related too much--and could picture the cheesecake and the red dress three sizes too small all too well
The common struggle... I could picture the refrigerator as well :)
Like that, though it is about an everyday occurrence , it really has the gravity of a great poem!
I traded my red dress for a double cheesecake with huckleberry glaze! This is a nifty piece...
I'm interested to find that you're a fractal person and really pleased to find I can now leave a comment. Wish I could remember what I wanted to say!
Yummmm!!!This flowed very well.
haha...the fight with self nicely put. I think one slice is OK. Isn't it ?
LOL @ Mark! Ha ha ha!
I love the closet of if only's, the stubbed toe, the blue language, and the holy underwear.
An excellent poem about fighting it and distraction. Loved the ending.
this one is a real giggler. we all fight the great fight. you write about it better than most...
Hello,
This is Coco Chanel. Cool poems you have here.
Too bad about the red dress. My Mom has a closet full of dresses that are too small.
Mom is such the Foodie in our house!
Thanks for the follow.
Guess I will sniff you and follow you too.
Thank you everyone! I'm glad you enjoyed this. I was unsure, as I was just letting it flow, no rhyme. I'm glad cheesecake hits everyone on such a level lmao. It started out totally different...I love when that happens, and it takes a life of it's own. Glad it struck a chord, and yeah, I struggle with the weight issue :)
It sure flows.
patronising darkness weakens me
Cheesecake. That evil temptress! Love some of the visuals in this. Piercing fridge light, on one foot, hole in underware, you in that red dress hot as hell ;>)
I love the whole stubbing your toe, cussing and hole in your underwear. Throw in the cheesecake and we are sisters!!
what woman can't relate to this??!!
I related to the stubbed toe too (as I am a klutz) but I would have definitely caved!
thanks for a fun read!
A universal frustration, because even if you can still fit into the old dress, you aren't the same person. Red dress as metaphor for temptation, but also who we once were.
I like the beginning, sort of mysterious, but it's definitely a poem we can all relate
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